TAKING A good dick pic can be a nerve-wracking undertaking. Sending someone a photo of your penis obviously requires a pinch of courage, and there’s always a chance that it won’t be well received. What if they aren't impressed? Or worse, what if they laugh and show it to their friends? (I mean, you'd have to be dating a real jerk, but still—a stressful hypothetical!) The key to avoiding these dreaded scenarios, of course, is to put a little thought into taking a good dick pic and sending it at the right time.
First things first: Sending unsolicited nude photos can be considered a form of sexual harassment—and in some states, it’s actually a criminal offense and punishable by law. In fact, sending an unwanted photo of your goods could land you a hefty fine of up to $500. Legal issues aside, a 2020 study found that half of women say they feel disrespected or grossed out when they receive unsolicited dick pics. Not exactly the goal here, right? Assuming you’re trying to turn someone on—not offend or disgust them—experts say the first step is getting consent from the recipient that they even want to see your peen in the first place.
Andrew Mioch, a sex coach, author of The Best She Ever Had, and founder of Sexual Quantum Leap, advises waiting until there’s some kind of sexual tension building over text or IRL—that way, it won’t feel like your X-rated content is coming out of left field.
You can test the waters by saying something like, “I'm so turned on thinking about what I want to do to you... wanna see?’” suggests Suzannah Weiss, a certified sex educator and resident sexologist for the pleasure product brand Biird. Alternatively, she recommends sending a clothed photo and asking, “Wanna know what's going on underneath?’”
“This is a good way to open up the communication channels for the receiver to give you the green light—or not,” says Ashera DeRosa, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in sex therapy. “It's important to read the room. If they're responding with anything less than enthusiasm, don't send one.”
And when in doubt, you can always simply ask: “Hey, can I send you something naughty that’s X-rated?”
Contrary to popular belief, the sight of a penis can be arousing—but only if it’s photographed well. With that in mind, we tapped the experts for some key pointers to keep in mind while you’re whipping out your camera and your—well, you know.
Ease into it.
Suddenly sending someone a photo of your raging hard-on is a risky move. That’s why Treena Orchard, Ph.D., a sexuality researcher, suggests snapping photos of yourself in various states of arousal—in other words, mimicking the way your penis would look as a sexual act unfolds.
“Think of dick pics as characters in an erotic script you’re sharing with your partners,” she says. “What story do you want to tell?”
Weiss recommends framing your dick pics as a strip tease. For example, you might warm up the receiver a bit by sending a photo of your bulge through a pair of pants. From there, DeRosa says you snap a photo of your hand creeping down your underwear before showing off the goods.
“Subtlety is underrated,” adds Kimberly Jackson, a certified sex therapist and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice. “Sometimes a silhouette of arousal and excitement is just as good, if not better, than the full monty. Not only is it less risky, but it also leaves more to the imagination.”
As the famous saying goes: Always leave ‘em wanting more.
Don’t include your face.
“Remember this: no face, no case,” says Ashley Cobb, a sexpert for Lovehoney. “This protects you from embarrassment if the photo ends up getting leaked online—not to mention that there’s a decent chance the person on the other end of the phone will show your dick pic to their friends. They shouldn’t, but lord knows that happens."
But don’t just show your dick.
“Like a quote, a dick pic needs context,” says Sofiya Alexandra, co-host of Private Parts Unknown. “Show me abs, torso, and a peek at that butt. Basically, in the immortal words of E-40, ‘Show me what you workin’ wit.’” This can also help give context to how big your dick actually is. You may think it’s better to make your dick look humungous, but if you do that, and your dick is average, or even on the smaller side, they might feel like you misrepresented the truth. (BTW, there's nothing wrong with having a penis on the smaller side—it's just that no one appreciates false advertising!)
“It’s up to you whether you show off a toned chest or muscular thigh, but give the receiver something other than your dick to glance at from time to time,” says Mioch. “It will help keep their attention on your photo longer.”
Play with angles.
“Get creative with your angles and explore ones that are about teasing and seduction rather than super explicit,” says Kenneth Play, international sex educator, sex hacker, and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series. “Women, especially, tend to like more seductive angles than getting up-close and personal with the jewel."
Think about lighting.
“Choose some warm and flattering lighting,” says Courtney Kocak, cohost of Private Parts Unknown. “Nothing turns you off more than a dick bathed in fluorescent bathroom light. Like, why is it green? Is it sick? A dick pic is not supposed to look like a BTS of your last doctor’s exam,” she says.
And in a similar vein, no one wants to see a dimly-lit peen. So, make sure she can see your dick clearly—in all its glory.
Don’t snap the photo in the bathroom.
First off, the lighting in a bathroom is rarely romantic—it's often blindingly fluorescent or dim and yellowy. Second, “Toilets are not a turn-on,” Play says.
Do some manscaping.
We’re not living in the '80s—full bushes aren’t hip. Tidy up down there. You don’t need to shave it completely bare, but a nice little trim will do. “Take some time to get your junk camera ready,” Play says. “It’s very much appreciated.”
Speaking of hygiene—if you’re holding your dick in your hand, you may want to make sure your fingernails look clean. If they’re looking gnarly, Alexandra says your recipient might take that as a bad sign that things are funky downstairs, too.
Clean your bedroom.
As Mioch points out, no partner is going to be able to focus on your penis when there are piles of old pizza boxes and dirty laundry in the background.
“I see a fair amount of slovenly bed situations when reviewing dicks on my OnlyFans, and I have to say, it really detracts from the sex appeal,” Kocak says. “Even if I’m staring at a gorgeous cock, part of me is thinking, ‘Ew, I would never want to have sex in that bed.’”
Since that’s not the vibe you’re going for, take five minutes to clean. “Trust me, doing a quick clean beforehand is worth it!” Kocak says.
Think about timing.
“Sending a dick pic at an inappropriate time can be embarrassing for everyone,” Cobb says. Let’s say she’s in the middle of a work meeting where her phone is connected to the screen. An unlikely situation, but that would be absolutely horrendous if you sent a pic then. “If you’re not sure what your partner is up to, text a simple ‘Hey, you busy? I wanna show you something ;)’ to check if it’s a good time,” Cobb says.
Last but certainly not least—have fun!
While yes, you should put in the time, you don’t want to overthink it. Sending a dick pic is as much for you as it is for them, so if you’re not enjoying the process of taking it and all the flirty banter that comes with it, then sending dick pics might not be right for you!
