There I was. Sitting on the L train at 8th Avenue. The floor was slick with coffee, so I sat on the first surface I could discern as visibly dry. Two people were with me; a wizened woman hunched over on the opposite end of the car and a young-ish man in a Patagonia vest, who was blatantly staring at me. Not wanting to be rude by changing cars, I took out my phone and started reading about the latest White House charade when a picture popped up on the screen.
It was a penis. Flaccid. Hairy. Poorly lit.
Underneath the full screen high-resolution dick pic were two options—"accept" or “decline.” Ha. As if I had been given the choice.
Glancing up, attempting to appear calm, I looked around. Moving my gaze to the man in the Patagonia vest in front of me, I surmised it was him. He was still staring at me, now with a crooked smirk on his face. Bewildered, and feeling guilty for not following my instincts to change cars, my eyes darted back and forth looking for someone to bear witness to what had just occurred.
I was alone.
With harassment, it’s rare for someone else to see it, and even rarer for someone to speak up. Now it had happened on my most personal device. Flustered and wanting the picture to disappear, I hit DECLINE. It was gone.
The intent, however, had been accomplished. I’d seen it. I’d become upset. He had stolen my attention and time and managed, somehow, to make me feel ashamed. I didn’t note the name of the phone that sent it to me. I had no digital trace of what I’d just experienced, I didn’t take a screenshot or save it to show an MTA agent or the police. I didn’t call him out for fear he’d take the harassment from my phone to real life. So, I kept quiet. I pretended everything was fine. I felt like I failed. I waited until the next stop, and quickly changed cars.
Finally, safe-ish I tried to figure out what happened? Turns out, I had changed the default setting on my Airdrop from “Contacts Only” to "Everybody." At the time I was working at a mobile app, so I left Airdrop on to easily get files and screenshots from colleagues. Being prudent, I tended to turn off Airdrop leaving the office as I didn’t want a mistaken, random file. Never did I imagine this would be used as a tool of harassment.
Ah, technology.
A quick peruse of the internet and it became clear that many women, and a few men, have experienced this. In 2015 The British Transport Police opened their first investigation on Airdropped dick pics, but because the victim did not accept the dick pic, there was no digital trace.
Curious to see if anyone else had experienced this, I asked on Instagram and many of my friends responded. Allie Hogan commiserated on also receiving Airdropped dick pics, but has yet to successfully send a text on New York’s subway system.Vera Papisova, creator of the award winning #NotYourFault campaign, has also had her fair share of subway dick drops.
“It’s one of the reasons I avoid making eye contact with men on the subway,” she said. “The first time it happened was over a year ago. Sometimes it happens when there aren’t many people on the subway car with you. That’s when I realized that after a man sends you their dick pics, they are mainly looking around for the person on the subway car reacting to their dick pic. So, I don’t react in any visible way. Honestly the only reaction I have is wondering how they are Airdropping me anything from an iPhone when the pictures they send look like they’ve been taken on a flip phone.”
Sophie Bushman had a different first time experience with Airdrop.
“My first encounter with Airdrop, I was in an Uber stuck in traffic when the guy in the car next to me Airdropped me a note saying something along the lines of, ‘Hey, hopefully this is the right person… We just made eye contact from our cars and you’re super cute, here's my number, hmu.’ At this point, I didn’t even know what Airdropping was and had to google to figure out what had just happened!”
“Since then, I try to keep my Airdrop turned off,” she added, “but sometimes I forget as I use it frequently at work. I’ve been sent dick pics, selfies, or sexually explicit memes on multiple occasions. This has happened several places, including while on the subway, in a Starbucks, and at the airport. Most times, it seems like the sender targets any/every female with their Airdrop turned on. As soon as I receive one, I see multiple other women look up from their phones just as confused as I am.”
In one of the more depressing Airdrop horror stories I received, Chanea Spirnock revealed that at a bar she worked at, the female GM told servers to turn the feature off as part of their training. Why? Female servers would get Airdropped dick pics and solicitations from patrons. Airdrop in Chanea’s circle of friends became synonymous for "any unsolicited photo/information."
In the UK there is a clear course of action for victims, but not so for women in America. While attempting to detangle how one would report this crime in the U.S., I quickly learned you’ll spend more time being tech support to authorities rather than discussing the crime afoot. After spending over 6 hours on the phone with sexual assault hotlines and the NYPD, all I’d manage to learn was local law enforcement is not equipped to deal with any digital harassment, let alone understand the intricacies of cyberflashing.
When reached for comment, an Apple spokesman pointed out that iPhones are automatically set to receive Airdrop files from "Contacts Only." Still, as the women I spoke to would attest, many of us change our settings for professional purposes, leaving us open to the unwanted Airdrop D. But I do think there are some easy fixes.
Blur or restrict images if they are not in your contact list so you can choose to “decline” or “accept.” Currently, you get a full screen, high-res preview.
Report images that are, quite simply, sexual harassment and punishable by law. If sexual predators know they had repercussions or can be traced for sending women dick pics, they’ll send less of them.
It’s been two months since I got Airdropped my first dick pic, and, to protect myself, I turn off Airdrop consistently. Just like I protect myself by taking certain routes at night, never listen to music walking home from the subway after 9PM, avoid eye contact with the general population, change subway cars when I get a dark feeling, take taxis after a certain hour, and carry mace at all times.
That’s part of the checklist for my commute home. Women don’t need another “to-do” to keep us from getting harassed.
