From doing it outside to perfecting a sexy striptease to learning how to take a dick pic, consensual exhibitionism with a partner can be majorly hot. This is because, according to research psychologist Sarah E. Hill, PhD, an expert in womenâs sexual psychology, our brains get a big ole hit of dopamineâa neurotransmitter that makes us feel amazingâwhen we do a naughty version of Show and Tell. Not only are we connecting with our own bodies, but she says the anticipation of how our partner(s) will respond lights up our mental reward center even more. Thereâs also the whole taboo element that gives us a rush of adrenaline. I mean seriouslyâwho needs skydiving when you can send nudes?
But before you start sexting your entire contact list, Dr. Hill stresses the importance of continuous consent. This means you get consent every single time you send a photo. Just because someone is interested in a dick pic now, that doesnât mean youâre invited to send them a dick pic whenever. For example, they might be down for a nude when theyâre chillinâ at home, but when theyâre at work? Not so much.
Thatâs why talking before hitting send is crucial on multiple levels. Not only is sending unsolicited nudes illegal in many states, but you have to make sure you can trust the lucky recipient of your photos.
âAnything that you send digitally can get into the wrong hands if you have an untrustworthy partner,â says Hill. âEven pictures sent on apps like Snapchat can be captured without your consent from an external device (e.g., using your iPad to take a picture of a nude you received on your phone). You need to be certain your partner is someone you can trust and will take the appropriate precautionary measures to ensure the picture wonât be seen by anyone it was not intended [for].â
So, a few important things to consider and discuss before trading nudes:
- What will happen to the photos after theyâre sent?
- Will you show the photos to anyone? Will they?
- How will you each ensure no one else sees these photos?
- What images/media are you comfortable receiving? Fully naked photos or ones with more coverage?
- What type of images/media are you comfortable taking?
- Are videos okay or just still photos?
- What will happen to the dick pics/nudes if you break up?
- Is your partner in a position/consenting to receive nudes at this moment? Are you consenting to receive them in return?
The good news is that a conversation around consent and preferences doesnât have to be awkward. In fact, it can actually be super sexy. Hill says an easy way to start is to simply chat about sexual likes and dislikes. From there, you can bring up the topic of dick pics and nude photos to get a better understanding of where youâre both at in general and in that moment. âThis can be a really fun conversation to have, and it will also allow you to start talking about other boundaries when it comes to sex,â Hill explains.
Once youâre given the green light to send a dick pic, then comes the really fun partâactually taking it. And while the simple act of snapping a sexy photo is super exhilarating, there *are* ways to absolutely excel at the assignment.
In order to help you take a pic your partner will find pleasure in, we spoke with a bunch of people to determine what their version of a "good dick pic" is. Once you do get the go-ahead to snap away, here's what to keep in mind for your next photo shoot.
How to Take a Good Dick Pic
1. "Every guy thinks the ideal method is to lie down and snap a pic from their viewpoint, but that gives a weird shot of hairy hot dog legs that doesnât do it for me. I like a side view with a hearty grip that says 'I mean business.' Bonus points if the snapshot includes the lower stomach area, 2x the bonus points if that tummy area has a cute lil happy trail." âLucy, 28
2. "I only enjoy a good dick pic if Iâm already in the ~mood~. The penis should be the focus, but it doesn't need to be the entire picture. Experiment with angles rather than distance and cut it out with the flash. Warm lighting is always more flattering, so go stand by a lamp or something." âLauren, 26
3. "A hard dick + a backdrop that doesnât include your toilet, a sink, or a dirty floor." âFaith, 26
4. "I have received two truly transformative dick pics in my life. The first was a gorgeous, well-framed black and white shot, and the other was a video with his underwear on, gently rubbing it. The key for me is effort and as a bonus, leaving something up to the imagination is super hot." âTaylor, 28
5. "Fuck pictures. Send me a video. Show me some abs, talk dirty to me, say my name...make it personal so I know this isnât a recycled nude they send out on blast when itâs time to shoot their shot." âAmy, 30
6. "I feel like a good dick pic isnât even a full, no clothes dick pic. The best dick pics are a fully hard, clothed dick with his hand kinda pushing it to the side so you can see the outline through his pants. Leaves a little to the imagination while still showing what heâs working with!" âStacey, 29
7. "A good dick pic is well framed. Ideally, you wanna be able to see the lower absâor at least the whole pubic area, and some thigh. Also, the penis should be in focus and have just enough light hitting it that thereâs some contrast between it and its surroundings." âJenny, 23
8. "For the love of God, take the picture with your shirt off. Please. I beg you. Don't Winnie-the-Pooh the assignment." âMelissa, 30
9. "The best dick pic isn't a dick pic at all but instead, is an *almost* dick pic. A guy I was dating once sent me a photo of him casually grabbing his clothed penis, and I almost lost it. The subtle shot of his erection without going to all the fuss of taking off his clothes and angling the camera made the whole thing seem way sexier." âNicole, 26
10. "Since what makes an attractive dick pic can vary from person to person and situation to situation, the hottest thing a guy can do is ask me what I want to see. Once, a FWB asked me to specifically tell him what I wanted, and his confidence and boldness instantly turned me on. Understanding that someone's desires aren't stagnant and fulfilling what they want in the moment is honestly the most desirable thing ever.â âLelia, 29
11. "I might be in the minority here, but a dick pic doesn't really do it for me. The only way it really works is if there's some humor or cheekiness involved. Once my boyfriend sent me a picture of his penis literally in a hotdog bun and said, 'wanna bite?' The totally unexpected and hilarious angle of the photo is what really turned me on." âKarina, 28
12. "One of the hottest dick pics I've ever received was when a guy took one directly out of the shower. It was a full-body frontal picture in his bathroom mirror. Because of the steam, the mirror was a bit foggy, but you could see just enough of the whole body that it was actually an incredibly sexy pictureâwhich also happened to include a great sneak peek of his package." âKrysta, 24
13. "Okay, honestly, I'm really into dick videos lately. Show me what you're working with in a better way than what any picture can show me." âRaya, 27
14. âI like when a guyâs hand has a good grip on it...if you know what I mean ;)â âNico, 21
15. âI prefer videos. Also, knock it the fuck off with the emojis.â âTaylor, 20
16. âOnce I got a flaccid dick pic. That was weird, so, like, don't do that.â âKate, 21
17. "Close-up shots are horrifying. Stand back a lil bit." âSarah, 21
18. âDonât do the thing where you press down on your balls to make your dick pop and look bigger. We know itâs not that big. Also, a little mood lighting never hurts (like, bad nighttime lighting where everything looks yellow and you have to use flash...thatâs a no-go). But a fresh-out-of-the-shower mirror picture is always a safe bet! Like, when there is still steam everywhere and you have to wipe a little off the mirror to expose the D.â âSophie, 26
19. âIâm a sucker for an artsy dick pic. Some may think itâs a bit narcissistic, but using a self-timer and lying out on something is sexy AF. I wanna look at you like the fucking work of art you are! And in my opinion, that should be a full-body nude. Thatâs because I donât see a dick and get turned on..it does nothing for me visually. But I think the human body is stunning.â âLiz, 24
20. âItâs hot when itâs an actual body shot and not some low-quality up-close-and-personal junk shot. I love it when my boyfriend of three years sends me nude pictures in risky places. Like, when he sends me something from work, Iâm like, yesssssir.â âMegan, 24
21. âThe angle is everything. I donât want it just from the top to see the head or from the bottom to see the balls. But if itâs from the side and heâs holding it like heâs touching himself, thatâs kind of hot because you know heâs thinking of you at that moment.â âValerie, 24
22. âFirst of all, it doesnât matter on the angle, lighting, or frame of your dick pic. If we didnât ask for a picture, donât send it. Thereâs nothing worse than being on your phone and having a huge, unsolicited penis picture pop up on your screen. That being said, Iâm looking for something effortless. Turn off the fluorescent lighting, lie down in bed, and snap away. The last thing I want to see is a guy flexing in the bathroom mirror. Put your hand at the base of your (hopefully hard) penis for a better scale, and take the picture from a lower angle to make it look bigger.â âTaylor, 25
23. âA photo of a guy touching his dick makes it look so much hotter than just a lonely penis staring you in the face. Erect is probably better than flaccid. Pants or boxers pulled down or totally pants-less is best, although sometimes peeking out of boxers can be hot. Itâs also good when itâs close but not too close up that itâs anatomical. I like being able to see some background.â âRachel, 35
24. âWhen guys send a dick pic, I actually really donât want to see the dick. Iâm more interested in seeing his absâor his dad-bod stomachâand maybe a little of the booty. An angle that I like is a nice high-above pic where the phone is looking directly down on the stomach or abs from above. Please donât put your face in the photo or include your dirty room in the background. Iâd just rather see their bodies. And finally, something else Iâd like to emphasize: If you send a photo, I am not obligated to send one back!â âMaddie*, 21
25. âWhen it comes to dick pics, I donât care if you are three inches or nineâaccurate representation is important. I am constantly working to love myself and my imperfections, and if you are feeling bad about your dick size, shape, etc., I can tell by the photo you send. Keep it natural and make sure itâs close up. Be confident in your photo, and if you have a cock ring, put that on too! I personally find cock rings super hot, and knowing you are comfortable with toys is a big turn-on and tells me a lot about a person.â âSarah, 31
26. "The background should be clean and tasteful. Iâm not particularly drawn to the idea of coming to your apartment if what I see in the background is reminiscent of a college dorm. When I send sexy pics, I take a lot of pride in the way I display my body. I love wearing lingerie and posing seductively, and I really like taking short videos sometimes too instead of just pictures. If I send you some high-quality content, then you send a pic of your dick hard and hanging out of your underwear in your messy bathroom? Yeah, that's not gonna cut it.â âJanice, 21
27. âI personally like a hand in the picture because I really like to imagine that the guy is actively jerking off for me in some capacity. I also like mirror pics where I can see your full body or pics lying in bed from dick up (dick, chest, shoulders, face). Never send pictures of your soft dick. I know that sounds obvious, but you have no idea how many soft-dick pics Iâve gotten. Donât awkwardly hold your dick in an unusual way just because youâre trying to make it look larger." âSelena*, 20
28. âI actually love dick pics that donât show everything. Iâm just way more attracted to a photo of a clothed boner than a naked photo. Like, hard dick laid flat underneath boxer briefs and Iâm donezo. Or in gray sweats or athletic shorts. Leaving something to the imagination is hotter than a bare dick to me.â âDia, 26
29. âFor me, a dick on its own isnât attractive. Like, obviously, unsolicited dick pics are awful for many reasons, but one thing I hate about them is that theyâre always just some smelly-looking dick without context with the flash on. And you can, like, see Fifa on the TV in the background. Theyâre never sexy. I donât feel strongly about what is a âgoodâ penis, really. The person itâs attached to has a lot to do with how much Iâm going to enjoy the dick, you know? So in my opinion, a good dick pic includes context. I want to see a little bit of the rest of your body. Just be careful if you shoot the pic from below, so I can see your face. If you do it poorly, it can end up looking like Cockzilla is about to attack your head.â âRachel, 24
30. âIâm looking for an accurate photo that shows true size and girth. A little lower ab muscle is always fun. If we know each other well, throw in some post-self-love funâbecause everyone loves a good cum shot.â âWaameeka, 27
*Name has been changed.
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao â follow her on Instagram and Twitter ⢠Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder ⢠She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
Taylor is the former Sex and Relationships editor who can tell you exactly which vibrators are worth the splurge, why youâre still dreaming about your ex, and tips on how to have the best sex of your life (including what word you should spell with your hips during cowgirl sex). You can follow her on Instagram here.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
